status update

October Status Update

2020 has been a scary year, and I wouldnt be lying if I said I’ve been a bit overwhelmed by it all at least ten times this year already. With a second wave of Covid_19 hitting Europe and the UK now (or just a continued first wave?) for me personally this month there’s not much to report. With venues and shops closing earlier due to restrictions, darker and stormier nights, and NO SOCIALISING WHATSOEVER it’s been a very quiet month, and one with very little respite from the ongoing Monday to Friday 9-5 work drudgery. Again, scary stuff, so with everything hellishly terrible I decided to lean into it all a bit more and made a point of really doing nothing this month except consume horror books/tv and film.

For the longest time Horror media of any sort was just a big no-no for me. Cowardice, confusion, a lack of…risk taking? I’ve read Stephen King as a teenager and forever since, but I was always aware of my limits and sensitivity. As I’ve gotten older it’s something that I’ve found myself enjoying more and more, particularly in film and literature. My favourite thing about the genre is that invariably it has some of the most human themes and characters compared to absolutely everything else and that it rewards looking inwards at self, identity, and just humanity in general. Not always of course, but a great number of stories look at what makes us human, what our relationship is with each other and then makes a horror or fear out of something that is the opposite.

Two years ago Netflix produced and released The Haunting of Hill House, a one-off miniseries inspired by the Shirley Jackson book af the same name. I loved it. It was tense, dark, it was about love, it was about hope and light, and it really opened up the genre for me, both series and book. The show was one of the most complete, satisfying, and absolutely whole things I’ve ever watched. This year it’s follow-up released -again a miniseries- this time inspired by The Turn of The Screw by Henry James. I wasn’t familiar with the source material but I was very excited to watch the show as a spiritual follow-up with the same cast and creative team. The first night we watched three episodes, another three the second, and the final three on the third, closing the entire show out within one weekend. Thematically it’s very different to ‘Hill House with a horror and darkness that sometimes feels altogether more frightening. It’s a lot lighter on tension and jump scare set pieces, but it was incredible at studying humanity, life, death, and the transition thereof. I really want to watch it again and think and talk about it a lot more- a revisit is guaranteed once I’ve finished reading the book.

I made a point of watching only Horror films this month and things that kind of came under that genre, so yes, Hocus Pocus, The Addams Family and Practical Magic were all allowed of sorts. I finally watched Halloween (1978, John Carpenter) this month, having ignored/missed/avoided the franchise my whole life. It was incredible! A real old-school practical slasher flick with lots of scares and jumpsightings of famous stabber Michael Myers throughout, and so really well done. A whole 42 years later(!) I think the film has aged phenomenally and I really regret missing out on it for so long. My other big film fave was Us by Jordan Peele. Get Out, his directoral debut, was critically lauded and while I could recognise it’s brilliance upon watching it, it wasn’t really something that I admired. Against the majority, I much preferred Us. An absolutely stellar, bold, and complex piece of both narrative and filmmaking. It’s not without it’s flaws, but it has buckets of allegory to unpack throughout and really taps into some very nasty unnerving human fears.

As with Halloween this month I went back to another genre-definer classic and I listened to Dracula by Bram Stoker. I knew going in that this was perhaps going to be a bit of a difficult one, but I really didnt enjoy this much at all. It puts all the pieces on the board with a creepy castle, stakes, garlic, bats and fangs, inspiring everything forever afterwards but I found it really dry. The opening chapters are enjoyable and engrossing -Tense! Creepy! Dramatic!- but the second half of the story meanders and dithers so much. The protaganists think, and observe, and ponder which is great, but it’s all with very little urgency. There’s lots of exposition but the story just felt unecessarily long. Not for me. Conversely, I really enjoyed -and I really can’t believe I’m comparing the two- listening to Coraline by Neil Gaiman. I find with Gaiman he’s generally really good at creating unease from the simplest of childhood fears and anxiety, and Coraline does this so well. A dark twisted fairytale about things that are different, changing circumstances (which are just the scariest at any age), and uncertainty through younger eyes. I’ve seen the film before but this was my first time with the book and I liked it a lot.

Going forward there’s still lots to do. At the moment it seems like some of the scariest stuff is on the news and there for us all to see whether we like it or not, but I’m in the process of reading The Turn of the Screw and i’ve started reading the numerous short stories by Shirley Jackson too. In an ideal situation it would be proper lockdown again with all the time in the world to read and watch so much more and already I feel like I really missed plenty of other great stories I could have done. As the horror that is 2020 continues, I’m sure there’s going to be plenty of dark winter nights to get stuck into some of them.

September Status Update

September was a month of sciatic nerves, Stephen King, a staycation, and SO MUCH Fargo.

A lot can change in a year, 2020 is a BIG indication of that. This time last year I raised £350 for MFR Cash for Kids by running 5K a day for the whole of September, and it was one of the hardest, silliest, but ultimately one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. This year I was planning doing the same, but after hurting my ankle (and subsequently, leg) during Lockdown I haven’t been running for the majority of 2020. I really miss that! I miss not being in pain the whole time! A few doctor and physio appointments this month revealed my leg pain is actually “sciatic irritation due to postural changes”. What is that? Basically months of staying at home slouching playing games and hunching over webcams have actually injured me. Being lazy actually hurt me. With diagnosis hopefully complete I’ve since been stretching, more active, and most importantly, more focussed on my posture for perhaps…the first time in my life. It’s made a difference, and the last few weeks have seen a big change in pain reduction and how sore I am- things are actually getting better. I might be able to get running again just in time for a season full of cold northern winds and rainstorms. Yay?

After reading and enjoying Stephen King’s On Writing last month, this month I decided to revisit the author properly for the first time in some while, and eagerly jumped-in to Pet Sematary. The title had always sidestepped me for whatever reason, so returning to some previously-missed dark Stephen King horror was always going to be rewarding and comforting in the weirdest possible sense. I was ready. There’s an audiobook version narrated by Dexter’s Michael C. Hall and this is something I listened to over a week and a bit, completely engrossed, disturbed, chilled, and just absolutely revelling in it if I’m honest. I’ve been a bit up and down with audiobooks previously, but the narration here is absolutely incredible, and Hall completely sells the dark, twisted, harrowing tale, while frequently ramping up tension and absolute dread. I’m an audiobok convert! I need to do a post of my favourite books at some point, and while this would probably not quite get ranked, Pet Sematary is definitely in my top 3 from Stephen King. Entertainment Weekly have a great retroactive piece on the book (and films). It’s quite spoilery but it’s worth a read if you’ve finished it!

Something that had equally eluded me previously was the film Fargo. Released in 1996, I watched the film a whole 22 years later in 2018 and loved it when I did finally get round to it. This month I’ve done something similar with the spin-off tv series of the same name, but thankfully only 6 years late this time. It’s absolutey brilliant and something that really hooked me this month. The tv series is mostly separate from the film with each season being an anthology piece with their own stories and characters. The first season feels a lot like a spiritual sequel that builds on the film’s tropes but it gives characters and scenarios more time to mature. It’s easily was one of the best things I’ve ever watched on tv…or it was, until I then watched the second season. Season 2 is a sad, tragic, and beautiful 10-parter about people misunderstanding the hell out of each other, being in a watershed moment in history, and having to brace for future change while dealing with much bigger concepts. I feel like I’m under-selling; it’s incredibly accomplished, and always just so much more than standard cop v murder case fare. The third season is equally as bold and brave, and existentially questions the meaning of it’s own stories and characters and cause and effect logic. All three seasons are beautifully profound. Staggeringly so. I honestly wish I could watch them all for the first time again but encourage anyone reading to check them out.

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This month I’ve been back at work, in daily routine, doing the house chores, and everything feels mostly back to normal, at least on a surface level. After having to cancel both holidays and guesting at weddings earlier this year -and with not much event-wise on the horizon- Ailish and I decided to have a weekend break in Inverness and nearby Nairn. We’re just home. We visited Loch Ness, went shopping, ate great food, and honestly this was just a weekend that I was needing for too long- It’s great to get a change in scenery, switch off, and honestly just relax for a few days. I will do an actual longer post on our Loch Ness trip later- there’s some initial photos up on my Instagram.

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Next month things are becoming quieter, and slowing down again as the weather gets colder. It’s hard to believe that it will be October already after it feels like the year has even to get started, a year that really just didnt seem to happen at all. Coming home from work, locking the door, and getting the blankets, that’s what autumn and winter is all about, at least thats what I’m hoping. It’s going to be a great time to catch up with lots of games and books!

August Status Update

August was a month of books, boardgames, and “back to normal”.

I’ve been posting here a lot less than what I’d like to recently, and the main reason for that is that things are finally going “back to normal”. With lockdown fully eased in Scotland (wear your damn mask please), shops are open, schools are open, and I’m now back at work, five days a week. It’s good to get out of the house and do things a bit more regularly again, but the whole thing so far feels a lot like a dream: honestly, where the hell have the last few months gone? I’m finding the days having a similar effect, and after doing not much for so long it’s bizarre suddenly having responsibility, appointments, and an actual sense of time again. Night times are a crazy spin of dinner, TV, bed, and days are frequently over before they feel as if they’ve even begun, my energy levels mysteriously depleted. I’m hoping this will all balance out soon.

With businesses, places, and venues opening back up, this month I went for a few lunches, got a haircut, went shopping, and even later in the month, went to the cinema. The first outing was on a sunny Sunday to Forse of Nature, where we sat outside to eat, sat on the (sometimes wet) grass, and had a wander round the grounds. Lunch and company were great, we saw ducks, and I may have fallen in a ditch in the woods, but the best feeling about it all was just how relaxed and normal everything felt- some very long overdue reassurance for me and my doom mentality the last few months. Equally great was getting to drive to Inverness and go shopping later in the month, buying lots of books, having lunch, visiting friends and then heading home. It feels good to break up things again with such days, but arrows, facemasks, and distancing in shops are of course a constant reminder that things aren’t perfect quite yet, and might not be for a while.

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This month -and year, if i’m honest- I’ve been trying to read a lot more than what I would normally. After reading the first in the His Dark Materials trilogy late last year -Northern Lights- this month I jumped into the follow-up The Subtle Knife. Against consensus, I found the first book in the series as just okay, but could see the enormous potential of both the world and the series. The second book opens up a lot faster and vastly expands the world(s) of the series by introducing some really great characters and concepts from the outset. With initial world-building and introductions from the previous book out of the way I far preferred it’s pacing and focus enormously, and got through it with enthusiasm quite quickly. The third and final book in the trilogy The Amber Spyglass which i’m reading now expands with possibility and wonder, but so far it’s taking me a lot longer to get through. The other book I read this month was On Writing by Stephen King, and after reading plentiful amounts of his work over the years, I found this incredibly rewarding. There’s a lot of good advice in here for aspiring story tellers -I have post-it notes on pages to prove it- but I far preferred the more autobiographical sections and passages, which were often just as interesting.

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In August I continued playing in two Dungeons and Dragons campaigns with my two very different characters. Panwick the Pilfer is an agile and sneaky heist Halfling extraordinaire trying to stay alive while Henk is a Half-Orc Barbarian who often misses the point and lacks subtlety. I enjoy both characters and games, and next month i’m looking into starting some solo rpgs and journalling on the side, for even further escapism. With us largely house bound these last few months there’s been frequent online D&D sessions but my partner and I have been playing lots of boardgames too. This month I bought Santa Monica for us to play together, and initial impressions are pretty good. The game is an easy breezy card drafing operation where you build a beach front and then attract tourists to gain victory points, mini engine-builder style. We need to play more and especially as part of a group but so far I can safely say I LOVE THE THEME AND ART SO MUCH.

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While I know lockdown, and Covid, and 2020 are all far from over it’s good to be feeling a lot better about things, and optimism is something I’m feeling a bit more now both mentally and physically. The year, and holiday, and all the weddings we were going to and so much more are written off, but I’m feeling creative and ambitious and have plenty of ideas and projects lined up for the coming months and winter ahead. It’s time to try and get things back on track!

Let's Talk July 2020

July was a month of days out, ‘Dark Knight, and deactivating Facebook.

With quarantine and working from home this past month I’ve still found myself a bit up and down mentally but during these “strange times” I’ve accepted it and I’m okay with it. Physically my right leg is still sore as hell, i’m definitely less okay with it- lets continue the stretches. Mood swings are expected, it’s normal to have them, that’s what i’m self- reassuring. What has helped lots however has been less daily social media. I wrote at length previously about why I deactivated Facebook but four weeks later this is something that’s stuck. I’ve deactivated before for a day at a time, so i’m a little surprised, but this has been so liberating, and not nearly as FOMO-inducing as I had worried. Who knew!?! Definitely a win for my 2020.

Lockdown is easing, and with better weather these past few weeks we made an effort to go out and about a bit more. On a very sunny saturday we headed out West a bit and went to Armadale Beach Bay and Strathy Point, packing swimming gear and towels. Despite good intentions this was mistimed, and wind (and rising tides) meant that we weren’t really able to get swimming at all. Ailish tried all the same, but standing in the sea with waves that go up and overhead is maybe all the indication and warning anyone needs. Nonetheless we walked and explored lots, and I took far too many photos and videos as usual: is 300+ too many? Definitely.

Two weeks later we headed to Latheronwheel Harbour to visit The Fairy Glen. Ailish and Wes had been here previously, but despite all my time in Caithness, I had never been. When we arrived the harbour was full of people picnicking, diving from height and swimming -we *really* shouldve brought our own gear- and the walk was a good hour of wandering. Over the bridge, up the hill, and finally down again through the trees to the Fairy Glen itself. Full of trees, rocks, logs and stumps with small decorative doors, windows, and paths, it’s a miniature woodland town with plenty of imagination, heart, and craft skill. We didnt get to see any actual fairies while we were there, they were obviously having a lockdown quarantine of their own. It was inspiring though- I left wanting to make a Fairy House for myself/garden.

This month we rewatched The Dark Knight trilogy. Batman Begins is a shocking 15 years old this month so it made sense to go back and watch them all. The franchise introduced me to director Christopher Nolan’s work, and while I loved them all at the time, it’s now really easy to see their faults/limitations/plot holes. I think for what it’s worth Batman Begins is easily the best Batman film ever with some of the backstory choices and narrative thematics, but The Dark Knight is without a doubt the best film film of the trilogy for just how damn stylish and tightly plotted it is. Dark Knight Rises is fun, but overdrawn, and really not the send-off the trilogy needs. Watching them all back to back now the trilogy feels very uneven in both pace and tone, with some very loose connections, but I still prefer them by far to all the other Batman films. We also watched The Conjuring and Hereditary this month, scary shit. The former was fun and felt relatively trope, the latter was…well, i’m still thinking about it at large, twenty days later. It’s a really bold film, it’s mastercraft slowly unravelling and scaring me the more I think back to it. What a film.

With things in the UK “going back to normal” I made a final push on what i’m building at the moment. I started landscaping for a Lego Castle back in April by building a waterfall but it sat mostly stagnant after realising that due to everything else, it wasn’t going to be at any of the exhibitions/shows later this year I had planned. I spent a few days this month getting good work done on it however and i’m very happy with how it’s coming along, if still somewhat daunted at everything I now need to do to finish it. I *might* have had this feeling before at just…everything i’ve done creatively? The picture below is a bit crap but the potential is there! I’m hoping to have this finished and forested by the end of next month. We’ll see.

This month (and hopefully going forward?) i’ve been posting here, and so far it seems to be going okay. Reflection, and writing are quite important I think, and i’ve found it good while everything the world over turns to shit, no irony. It still seems selfish to put so much focus and energy on myself, but it certainly feels like it’s been working. I made a 1 Second Everyday this month as ever, i’m still really enjoying doing that. Trying to embed it as video here, i’m enjoying that less so.

Phonetically, the word “month” is weird, right? MUN-TH.